It's Not Mere Child's Play

Note: This article was first published in Life in the Delta in September 2005.

As summer is ending and school is beginning again, I’m recalling how much I’ve enjoyed seeing the children in my neighborhood out playing this summer. It really warms my heart when I see children playing with reckless abandon. The reason for this is I’ve come to understand and appreciate the value of a child’s play.

I’ve discovered this by treating children in therapy. When I see children, I do what is called Play Therapy. Researchers have discovered that play therapy is to children what talk therapy is to adults. In fact, children are not really capable of expressing their deep thoughts and feelings in words, but they can work them out in play, using toys as words and play as their language. So for kids ages 4-12, I use this technique, which has been found to be quite successful in helping children resolve their problems.

The practice of Play Therapy requires specialized training and experience. But in many ways, it parallels the everyday play of a child. When a child begins Play Therapy, I offer them a variety of toys and tell them they can do most of what they want with them. I’ve never had a child ask what to do with the toys – children instinctively know what to do. Play comes so naturally to them.

In personally seeing the healing benefits of play to children, I’m often struck these days with the thought of how structured our children’s lives have become and how little time they have for play. Well meaning parents want their children to have every advantage to get ahead in life, so they enroll them in school as early as possible or in organized sports and classes. Some of these regimens are helpful in introducing a child early to the educational process, athletic training, or social skills. But I want parents to know that free play is not wasting time. Not only is play fun but it also promotes creativity and is critical to the healthy cognitive and emotional development of the child. In fact, many of our children are so used to having planned activities that they do not know how to think for themselves, hence the often heard “I’m bored.”

I also believe that play is important to adults as well. It ranks up there with love and work as being key to human happiness and well-being. Play can be any fun activity that can elevate our spirit and brighten our outlook on life. In play, we can relieve feelings of stress and boredom, connect to other people in a positive way, think creatively, regulate our emotions and get renewed energy to return to our daily tasks. A healthy balance, of course, is needed between work and play.

In conclusion, if we know that as adults, we need some fun, unstructured time, let’s remember that our children need that also. Perhaps knowing that “it’s not mere child’s play” will help parents not feel so pressured to enroll their child in every available activity. Then perhaps they themselves can have some extra time for play.

(Note: By play, I mean non-directed play using toys with pretending as well as drawing or painting or playing with play dough. This does not include watching TV, playing video games, or reading. However, research has shown that reading and playing or listening to music are better for children’s brains than the visual stimulation of TV or video games or computers. So I encourage music and reading but in addition to free play.)